Shut Up!

Kairi woke up this morning laughing. She's always so happy.

This morning while we were listening to music on my phone, an advertisement came on and the whole time it was on Caitlynn was yelling shut up. I really shouldn't find it funny but I do.

Kairi slept in her crib for the first time. Caitlynn is excited her sister is going to sleep in her room. I guess its there room now.

Caitlynn took her playing camera stood in front of Kairi and said " say cheese baby" I thought it was super cute.

Kairi decided she didn't want to go to bed and so we just laid her in her crib because sometimes she will just pass out that way. Well tonight she decided to make tons of noise. So I worried with this being her first night in there it would keep Caitlynn up. Daniel went in and got Kairi and what was Caitlynn doing? She had her head covered up. Man she learns fast. 

Thats about all I can remember that happened today! Out lives are not all that exciting!

It's an Afton Thing!

So in true Afton fashion I don't last long at doing things I say I will. I just get lazy and the girls haven't been doing anything to exciting though they are still super cute and silly. I will keep trying to write things about them though. To hold you over till tomorrow when I will actually write a post here is something Caitlynn told me today:
Me: I love you!
Caitlynn: I love bird (she was playing angry birds)

On to Phase 2!

If I ask Caitlynn if she loves mama she always says, "yeah and dada." Then I reply "oh you love dada too" she says, "yeah and baby." Well today I asked who else she loved and expected her to say grandma or someone. What was her reply? "I love my kitty cat." (talking about Dexter)

Caitlynn wanted a hat. So I told her if she wanted one she had to find one. Next thing I know she had one of my bras on her head.

Every time Caitlynn watches The Backyardigans she tells Pablo goodbye (I guess the others do not matter) Well today as she was going that she turned to me and said, "Mama Pablo has to go eat a snackkkkk." She has a problem with ks. She cracks me up.

Kairi was actually good today. I was surprised since she has never behaved well after shots. She was her normal happy self and I love it!

Caitlynn on the other hand was not that great today, especially  towards bedtime. Colette brought her home lots of bead necklaces from a Scouts thing well Kairi had one of the necklaces and Caitlynn did not like that. I told her she could share one of them or I would take all of them away. Well she didnt want to share so it seriously took me like two minutes to wrestle the bead necklaces from her (the whole time while she was screaming). Then it took me and Daniel to brush her hair because she was fighting so bad. Then she grabbed on to the door on the way into her room and Daniel was pulling at her feet trying to get her to let go. I seriously just laughed because I didn't know that happened in real life. Goodness gracious! Like our friend Skylar put it, "Terrible twos are just phase 1." I am not ready for phase 2! Please pray for my sanity and patience in the next year!

Not much has happened today. I have to go talk to a member of the Bishopric tomorrow. Why? I am not sure. I guess I will find out tomorrow!

Wow today was pretty uneventful but I think the last part made up for that. Now to go finish my last assignment in Art History and then I get a 4 day break from school! Oh yeah I am excited!!

Love My Girls!

 This morning when I got Caitlynn out of her room she got in trouble because she has a special book off the book case and it was torn (I am not sure she did that though). Well I got a little angrier then I should I do this sometimes. So I was telling her I was sorry and that she needs to not play with things that are not hers and for some reason I said, "Do you still love the mama?" Okay I know why I said that I feel like she is going to hate me because I am so mean or I am going to ruin her or something. Well after I said that she jumped into my arms for a hug, and gave me a giant kiss! It melted my heart! She is a sweety!

Caitlynn it's starting to actually color. She has always colored but now she's starting to not just scribble.  Shes trying to stay in the lines though she hasnt mastered it yet. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time because it shows how much shes really is growing up.



While I was playing a Mario game because I couldn't do much else because Kairi has been kind of grumpy and just wants to be held. Caitlynn was watching me and every time I did something good or Mario would make noise she would clap.

Caitlynn is an awesome helper. If I ask her to go get something most of the time she will go get it for me. Today is played with Kairi while I got ready. She is a trouble maker sometimes but she is a pretty good kid.

Kairi went and got shots today. Yeah I wasn't happy about that. Why? Well Kairi does not handle them very well and its grumpy for days after. Well she was already grumpy so how is she going to be now? I have no idea but I am kind of scared.

Kairi is now: 19.6 lbs (21%)
                    26 1/2 inches (75%)
She is growing so much! She defiantly going to be bigger then her shorty of a sister and most likely me as well when she gets older.

Kairi hates shots and screams and screams. When Caitlynn got them at this age she would scream with the first poke and then was fine, but we do say that Kairi is the softy. Well today we had to take Caitlynn with us to the doctors because we didn't have a sitter and the appointment was at 3 and Daniel gets off at 2:30 so we had to hustle. Well not only did Kairi scream so did Caitlynn because her baby sister was crying. I love that Caitlynn is so protective of her. I hope it stays that way.

Why do kids fight naps? I cannot figure that out. I would love to take a nap! Well Caitlynn hasn't taken a nap  during the day for awhile but she was crying a lot and being whiny plus rubbing her eyes so we decided she needed one today. Yeah biggest fit ever! How big? She bit her dad and almost drew blood. She never does that! If someone says 2 year olds are hard obviously has not had a 3 year old!

Caitlynn woke up from her nap crying so I opened her door and she sat in there for about 5 minutes till I asked if she was going to come out. Then she came out cuddled next to me and then fell asleep again. She is so cute! No matter how much she is a brat sometimes I love her. I especially love when she is sleeping because she is so peaceful and cute. I just want to hug her and hold her when she is asleep. I still have a hard time thinking I am a mom,even though I have been for 3 years almost. I love it though!

I am not sure what else they did because I went to a baseball game with Kristina because it was the last one and I really wanted to go to a game. FYI I have an amazing husband to let me go! Anyways Daniel did tell me Caitlynn at dinner kept trying to dip her bread stick in icing. She is so silly! I wonder the crazy things they will do tomorrow. 

3 in one day!

I posted 3 posts in one day! Thats impressive for me. I just figured I would start off my great idea today. I didn't write stuff down but I will try by best to remember all that they did.
Caitlynn this morning gave her favorite stuffed cat to Kairi. That showed me right there how much Caitlynn really loves Kairi. She won't even let me touch that stuffed cat.
Caitlynn is starting to dance a long with the kids shows she watch its great fun to watch.
I was pretty sure Hell froze over today because Caitlynn actually ate dinner.
Kairi totally freaked out when Daniel was holding her and he was playing the 3DS. She thought that was the coolest and funniest thing ever!
Every time Caitlynn hears a dog bark she yells, "SHUT UP DOG!" I know I probably shouldn't let her say that but it cracks me up.
I took pictures of Kairi today and I was trying to bribe Caitlynn to let me take her picture and no matter what I asked if she wanted something she told me no. She even said no to ice cream (which never happens) Then as we were going to go inside she told me, "I go chesse!" She kind of let me take her pictures and then when we got done she yelled, "YAY pie!" (one of the bribes)
As Caitlynn was going to bed she wanted a certain baby so Daniel told her to come out and look for it and she came out and said, "hmmm." While she had her finger on her chin. Shes a goof!
I think that is all that happened today that was worth mentioning. Oh and I have the most beautiful girls on the whole planet! :)

Finally!!

I finally got my blog looking some what nice! What do you think? I like it! :)

Light Bulb!

I have really wanted to write more on this blog but truth to be told I have been having a hard time knowing what to write about because our lives are not that exciting. It would be like "So we sat at home again, I did school work played with the girls and then tried to clean." Seriously that is how my average day goes lol. But then it hit me this morning when I wanted to update my Facebook status a million times because my girls are so cute, funny and just wonderful, I realized I need to share these things with people some how so they could share my joy, laughter and my OMG moments. Thats when I decided I could write it on my blog! I could use my fancy smart phone and write down when they do something I think is great/bad enough to share and then at the end of the day I could come write it down on here! What do you guys think? I think its going to be great and then maybe at the end of each year I can make a book or something that way we will always remember what they did when they were little because they are growing so fast! I mean Kairi is 6 month old and Caitlynn is almost 3. I don't think that I will change the name of my blog or anything but its going to be mostly about Caitlynn and Kairi and maybe me and Daniel if we do something exciting (which doesn't happen often). I can't wait to share the things my daughters do with all of you because they are pretty amazing even if they drive me crazy. :D

Time Time Whose Got the TIme!

I am not sure if anyone really follows this but I just wanted to write to say that I promise one day I will keep up to date (or try to at least). I am just not sure where time is going. It seems like I am always doing a million things at once. Being a mom of 2, trying to keep up with the mess, school and taking/editing pictures I really have no time. I haven't even been playing games I have really been wanting to play! I have a new Kingdom Hearts game I haven't even started yet and a book series that I really want to read and I haven't even done that! I guess that just means I am starting to get priorities in order. So if one day things slow down I promise to start posting for the few people who follow me.
I really do not know where time has gone though, Kairi is almost 6 months old and Caitlynn is almost 3. I wish they would slow down but I do enjoy watching them grow and progress. Times are crazy but them and Daniel keep me sane and I am so thankful to have the 3 of them! Life is grand even if it is busy, crazy and sometimes irritating I still love the life I live.

Blog Update

I really need to update this blog and make it look a lot better. I will soon I promise. Things have just been crazy with school, taking pictures and being a mom of two! Yeah I am not sure how I am handling it all but I am trying! I made another blog about my pictures and I think I am going to make another about my weight lost journey that way I can be kept accountable. Anyways I will be writing on here soon I promise! :)

Wishing On A Star

I would so love to win this giveaway. There is so many great prizes including an all expense pay to a 2 day workshop. I think the workshop is in Utah so it won't be to much of a trip but would be a lot of fun anyways and I would learn SO much. I mean I am learning stuff in school but I would love to learn even more. I eat this stuff up lol Here is the link to this awesome giveaway in case you want to enter also. Look how nice I am making it even harder for me to win because I am letting you enter too ;)
http://cravemyphotography.com/blog/world-wide-giveaway-2012/

2 months old!

Yes my baby is 2 months old! I am not sure where the time has gone too! She is one of the best babies ever! She never really cries unless she is hungry. She does get a little fussy when she is tired but don't we all. I am blessed to have such good kids. Even when Caitlynn drives me nuts she is still a pretty good kid. Kairi is learning and doing new things every day. She is also getting so big. Here are things about Kairi so far: 

•  She weights 10 lbs and is almost 21 inches long! Getting so big! Way faster then her sister did
• She can hold her head all by herself.
• Smiles all the time. She love it when you talk to her and will just smile and smile. SO cute! 
• Loves staring at everything. Really curious about what is going on around her.
• Loves tummy time. Which is something different because Caitlynn hated it.
• Starting to making cooing noises. Love it! 
• Starting to grab at everything! 
• When on her belly she scoots. And would probably be able to crawl if she could lift up the top part of her body because shes got the legs down all ready.
• Growing way to fast!

I love this little girl so much! She is such a great blessing and a perfect addition to this family. I love her, her dad loves her and her sister loves her. Her sister loves her more then me and Daniel most days. It is so cute to see the beautiful bond they have. I can't wait to see what the future has in store.

Waving The White Flag.

I give up! On what you may ask? The blog every day challenge. I tried I did but I didn't realize how busy my life really is. Taking care of two kids, going to school, cleaning, yeah I am not sure where I even get time to myself lol. I really thought I could do it! But I guess I can't! Oh well thats ok. Maybe another time! I would try to catch up but I am 9 days behind! Yeah to much! I guess that is just how things go sometimes :)

Day 5: 10 Songs You Love Right Now.

Ok this one is a little hard for me. I love music and always all kinds of music. I also am not very good with song titles or band names so I am not quite sure what some of the songs I do like right now. I guess I will just have to look them up and kind of go with it.
1. Penguin- Christina Perri. (This will always be my favorite song. It describes me perfectly and how I feel for Daniel. Plus the obsession with penguins probably adds to that lol)
2. Somebody That I Use To Know- Gotye
3. Glad You Came- The Wanted (I hate I love this song because it makes me feel like I am 12 again because they are a boy band)
4. Anything by Paramore. I cannot get enough of that band and is the only time I do not skip a song when my playlist is on shuffle.
5. Burn It Down- Linkin Park
6. In My Daughters Eyes- Martina McBride (This song always makes me cry)
That's about as far as I can think of. I really do just love music. I can listen to it all the time. It is what makes me feel better when I have a bad day. Music is an important part of my life.

Day 4: What You Are Afraid Of.

I am afraid of a lot of things. I think that I let my imagination get the best of me and I overreact a lot of the time. Somethings that I am scared of is heights, I am a grown woman and I am scared of the dark, and clowns. I am some what scared of bugs but can sometimes handle them. The biggest one out of those things though is clowns. I have always been scared of them and to this day I still kind of have a panic attack when I see one. I know thats silly. I think the biggest thing I am scared of though is the unknown. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. The future scares me and I wish I could see that it will all be ok, because like I said I have a very over active imagination. I just have to remember to have faith in the Lord that everything will work out the way it is suppose too. But at the same time it scares me so much.

Day 3: My favorite Quote

Ok I have a lot of favorite quotes. I just love them! I have favorites from different movies, music and books. So I think I will just mention a few of them.
I think my all time favorite isn't really a quote but more of a saying. It is mine and my husbands saying, which is, Forever and Ever and Even After That. Just meaning we will love each other forever and even longer.
Another quote I really like is from my favorite Apostle Deiter F Uchtdorf. It was from a talk at the General Relief Society Conference in October 2011. I was actually there and was really blessed I heard this talk in person. It just touched me so much and made a huge impact on me. Here is a link the whole talk if you are curious about it http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2011/09/forget-me-not?lang=eng. No matter how many times I hear this talk I still cry and still feel touched by the whole thing. Here is my favorite quote from that talk.

This really touches me and helps me every time I am feeling down. It reminds me that I do have a very loving Heavenly Father and he knows me and loves me and is always there for me.

Day 2: 20 Facts About Me.

1. I am 22 years old
2. I am married to the most wonderful man alive! I have been for 5 1/2 years with many more to come.
 3. If you decide to do the math you probably figured out I got married at 16. No I was not pregnant. It was just something I wanted to do and I still think it was the greatest decision of my life.
4. I did graduate high school!
5. I am a stay at home mom
6. I have two beautiful girls! They are 2 1/2 and a month and half old! They are my world!
7. I am going to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh Online Division to get my Associates in Photography.
 8. I am a big cat person!
 9. I have a slight obsession with penguins.
10.I find myself very blessed to be surrounded by such great family and friends.
11. I change my hair a lot. My great grandma told me its going to fall out soon because I change it so often. She's a silly old lady.
12. I have 5 generations of all women alive in my family. My great grandma, my grandma, my mom, me and my daughters.
13. I have one little brother who is 18 months younger then me! Hes a butt but I love him!
14. I recently joined a company called Beachbody and pretty happy I did so far.
15. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
16. I love pretty much everyone.
17. I love to laugh.
18. I love video games. My 2nd daughter is actually named after a video game character.
19. I am a very big procrastinator. For example it is technically Day 3 but I am now just doing Day 2 because I have been putting it off all day.
20. I am a big night owl and I should learn to go to sleep at night.

Day 1

Ok I do not have a very good recent picture of myself because my point and shoot camera has been dead and I couldn't find the cord to it to charge it, and I did not feel like bringing out my DSLR camera just to take a picture of myself lol. So this picture is going to have to do. It is from a few weeks ago when I went bowling with some friends. At least its what my hair looks like now since I change it a lot.

I know that is a little goofy but hey thats how I am. I am 22 years old! I have been married to the most wonderful man for 5 1/2 years. I have two beautiful daughters that are my life. Caitlynn is 2 1/2 and Kairi (ky-ree) is a month and half! I am a stay at home mom and love it! I am going to school to get my associates in photography. I am loving that! I really feel like my pictures are getting tons better! If you are someone that doesn't know me to well you can look at my pictures here. I am trying to get back into shape so right now I am really into fitness. I am doing a workout program called TurboFire and just started my 2 weeks so the results aren't there yet but I am excited when they do start showing. I joined a fitness business called Beachbody to get a discount of products. If you are curious what that is about you can check it out here. I am also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am very religious but I do not judge other people. I am very open minded and kind to everyone. That is pretty much all there is to me! I know exciting right?!

31 Day Blog Challenge.

I have done these things several times but I have not ever completed it so I figured I would try again. I stole it from my friend Chelsea who got it from another site. The blog she got it from is this one http://boyboyandme.blogspot.co.uk/. I add it because you can put up your own link and see what other people are doing also. Anyways here is the things for each day.

Lets see if I can do it every day! And maybe you guys can learn more about me. Even though I am an open book and easy to read lol.

2 1/2 and A Month Old!

My little girls are both growing up so fast. They are both so amazing and I love them both so much. They are my whole world and I could not ask for better children.

Caitlynn just turned 2 1/2. I am not sure where the time went. I feel like she is still a baby just like Kairi but she isn't. Shes has grown into such a wonderful little girl. She can sometimes be a pain and she does drive me crazy every single day but I love her all the same. I mean shes a 2 year old shes doing the normal thing. She loves her sister and is the best big sister I have ever seen. I can already tell they have a special bond and I am excited to see it grow. She is a very stubborn girl and no matter how much I try she will not potty train but she will get there. She also does not want to talk. I know she can but she won't for some strange reason. I wish I could do something more but I don't know what to do. I guess she will do it all when she feels like it and I just got to keep trying. Other then that shes a typical 2 year old and loves to run around like crazy. I love her with all my heart.

I cannot believe my baby is a month old! It doesn't seem like that is even possible. Time sure does go fast. Shes the best baby. She never cries until she is hungry. She is a little piggy though. She loves to eat. Every 2 hours sometimes she might go 4 if I am lucky but she eats a lot! But even when she cries it is not very loud. She is growing like a weed! I love it! She can hold her head pretty good by herself now and she is starting to grab at everything. She already likes to pull my hair. She is also starting to smile all the time and talking a lot. I love watching her grow! Shes so amazing and I love her so much! I can't believe how big my girls are getting and how fast they are growing. I love watching them grow but I wish they would slow down a little bit. Life is definitely interesting and wonderful.

Welcome to the world Kairi Colette Peterson!

It's been a few days now and I figured some people might be interested in knowing how everything went with Kairi. Monday (March 12th) I had a doctors appointment, this appointment went like normal ones, go get checked (I was almost at a 5) and then get hooked on the monitors just to be safe. I was having contractions but they weren't concerned. When I was about to leave my midwife said come back tomorrow I want to make sure you aren't like at a 6 or anything and then we will induce you on Wednesday. To me this was music to my ears. I was huge, miserable and very done being pregnant. Well Monday night the contractions picked back up and they had me a little concerned. When I had Caitlynn I went from a 5 to a 10 in an hour and with me already at a 5 and having big contractions I didn't want to risk having Kairi at home or something. So about 11:30 pm I woke up Daryl and him and Daniel gave me a Priesthood blessing and then we went on our happy little way. By the time we got there is was midnight so technically I was considered 38 weeks so I was sure this might work out in my favor. I get there they put me in a room for monitoring and I am in there maybe 30 minutes when they say "We are going to admit you." Once again music to my ears!! I was so excited but terrified. They take me to a room and say we aren't going to start labor yet (which means they aren't going to give me the medicine that helps you along) but they were going to put an IV in my arm. The nurse goes to put one in my left hand and my vein blew! Yeah that has never happened to me before! And it hurt way bad! She said she was going to go get someone else to do it. Comes back and tells me they are going to keep me overnight but only to monitor me and then in the morning they will take me to see the specialist to make sure the baby is ok to come. To me I found this completely frustrating! I mean seriously! I understood why they were doing it but I was 38 weeks for crying out loud! Full term is 37 weeks! I had Caitlynn 4 days before this time and she was fine! I just wasn't happy with this. That night I pretty much just laid there mad, having contractions and not being able to sleep because Daniel wasn't next to me (he was on the couch). Finally around 5:30 am I start to fall asleep and what happens? The nurses walk in! Yeah wasn't happy. They said they would let me sleep till about 7 and then have me get up take a shower, eat breakfast and try as fast as they can to get me into the specialist. Yeah I didn't sleep. I got to see the specialist fairly soon. Like at 9 am and I was told they weren't even in until 9 am. When that was over I was told Kairi passed 8/8 so everything was good and they were not sure why I was here. Which I didn't either. I waited awhile to be wheeled back to my room and when I got there my midwife was there. All I could think is "thank goodness someone with a brain." She told me they were going to start me now and take it from there. I was so happy! The nurses came into to put an IV in and blew another in my left arm, couldn't get one in a vein in my left arm (that one hurt the worse) and finally they called someone else and she came and got one in my right arm. The whole time I told them I have never had luck with my left arm! Once again I wasn't a happy camper! After that happened it was pretty much a waiting game. They would come in and turn up my medicine slowly to make me have more contractions. They checked me and I was at a 6 so I at least was progressing. Then out of no where my midwife came in and said "I am here to break your water." Which freaked me out because last time they let me get the epidural first but she was super busy and that was the only time she had to do it. She broke it and it was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced, just tons of liquid. Then came the first part I do believe. I started having bad contractions, so bad I was crying and my mom wouldn't leave my side because she knew I was hurting. They asked when I wanted an epidural and I told them as soon as possible. I probably only had the bad contractions for about 40 mins. That's not to bad but man did they hurt. The epidural went well this time. He had to try twice but that was better then the 5-6 I had with Caitlynn. Actually it didn't hurt as bad maybe because I was already distracted with the contractions. After they got the epidural in I was so much happier. I was relax and calm and felt great. Here is an image to show you just how happy I was.

I even decided I was going to take a nap. Right after they checked me and I was at a 7 and they said they were going to come back in 40 mins and check again. I was almost asleep when they came in and the nurse barley even checked. She said it was time to go. She called my midwife and my midwife asked "Do I have like 5 mins." The nurses response "No you don't" Then she called for a quick set up. Yeah I was freaking out that she was just going to fall out or something. My midwife got there and they had me pushing right away. I gave a few good pushes and she was out. They had to get her out fast because her cord was super tight. It wasn't around her neck all the way but it was a little. Her heartbeat actually went down to 50 (which isn't good for babies) and came out purple, but was ok. I am so thankful that I got her out so fast or it might of ended badly. I am also grateful for my midwife she told me the next day they were fighting her about starting me but she felt like it was the right thing to do. Then when she saw the cord like that she knew it was a great idea they did start me because any longer Kairi might not be here right now. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost and the things it tells people. Thats about it. We stayed in the hospital for two days. Not much happened except she keeps chocking and gagging because of the stuff she swollen while in the birth canal but it went away and we got through it though it was scary.Here is a picture of her and her stats.

Kairi Colette Peterson
6 pounds 5 ounces
18 inches
March 13th 2012 @ 3:01 pm.
So technically even though I was there since Monday night I was only in true labor for about 4-5 hours! Man that was fast! I am so happy she is finally here and I feel for now that my family is complete. I am sure I will have more kids at sometime but right now I am happy with my two very perfect little girls!!

Hospital Visit #3

This is the 3rd time I went to the hospital for this pregnancy. Which I guess isn't do bad since with Caitlynn it was a lot more but they were all at the end so that might change. I went because I was in tons of pain and seriously nothing I did helped it. I didn't want to go but I got a blessing that said it would be best that I did. Well I got there and they did the normal hook me up to monitors to see if I was having contractions and keep an eye on Kairi. Well they wanted to do a lab because they thought I had a bladder infection. Laid there a good hour and half. I was having some pretty good contractions show up. The nurse comes back in and says nothing is wrong to go home and deal with it. I asked about the contractions and she said they aren't regular so they don't matter. Which by the way I hate because guess what they hurt! They matter! I asked her to make sure I wasn't dilated because I thought maybe I was because with Caitlynn I was 3 cm by 35 weeks. Granted that a like 2 weeks a way I just wanted to make sure. Well nope nothing! I guess thats a good thing but at the same time I was hoping it was maybe at least a 1 cm just so that the pain made sense. That way I don't feel like a complete whiner! But nope its thick closed and long. Which is great for baby because she needs a little more time. Not so great for the momma! They said if its worse by Monday to go get checked out at my clinic. It was a long exhausting day with no answers. I hate that! Its like getting kicked when your already down! I pray for the strength to get through this! Because sometimes its just so hard!

Life.

No matter how hard you to try to stay positive life still brings everyone down. I don't get why it has to be hard. I tell people all the time its alright just think positive everything will work out fine. Then don't do the same for myself. I guess I am just having a hard time. We have lived in this basement for about 5 1/2 years. That's terrible! No matter how hard we try to get out it doesn't work. It seems like we are just getting farther and farther away from our goal. Daniel applies for jobs all the time. He has been for the last two years. Yes hes almost been at Wal Mart for 2 years, but nothing! I don't know why. I am tired of going in the hole every paycheck no matter what we do. Plus we are going to add one more to the bunch. How are we going to handle it? I am just really stressing out. He lost hours at work only works 37 hours a week or less. It's just so hard to stay positive when everything goes the other way. I really think a few month after Kairi is born I will have to start looking for a job. Want to know how much that hurts me? Not because I am lazy and don't want to work but because I want to be able to be here for my daughters all the time. This point in time though I don't know if I will be able too because I also need to help financially. I just am not sure what we are doing wrong. Why can't things just turn around for once? Why does life have to be hard and suck? Is there any light at the end of this dark tunnel? I sure hope so.

Yer A Wizard Harry!

Ok I have quite a new obession lately. What is that you ask? Well its Harry Potter.

Why? I am not sure. We got all the Harry Potter movies on Blu-Ray and then decided to watch them all. Granted we didn't watch them back to back or anything because that would be about 19 hours straight of movies!! But we did watch 2 movies once or twice a week till we finished them. This took so long because we invited our friends and unlike us they have actually lives lol. Anyways we were almost done with the movies when I decided to read the books again. I have read them all before but its been such a long time!!! Now I am just a little crazy with the whole thing. I have to admit I love it! I am not sure why and I am not sure why now its coming out of me. I think I have always enjoyed Harry Potter films and books I just didn't admit the whole enjoyness because I didn't want people to think I was a weirdo. But I think now I don't care what people think, so I can let my Harry Potter nerd self out. I seriously really want to buy a cape! I think that would be so cool! And Daniel was joking about buying me a wand and to be honest I think that would be actually pretty awesome. I just thought I would let you know I am now crazy! If you didn't know this before. I guess I should of let myself become this way a long time ago and not when the whole thing is basically over. Oh well! It's just all so magical (he he see what I did there ;D)

Callings.

Sometimes I fee like I am just not suppose to have callings. The first one I ever had I was suppose to go to the Relief Society gatherings and watch the kids. Yeah I never did it. That was my bad and I feel bad I didn't do it. My 2nd I was in the library and I did pretty good at it but got pregnant with Caitlynn and had to ask to be released because of how sick I got. This time I am in the nursery have been for about a year. I was doing a great job at it but now not so much. I just hurt and its really hard to deal with tons of children when you hurt that much. Today I made it through most of sacrament but had to leave because contractions were getting bad. Still are quite bad, its probably why I am blogging to help keep my mind off of it lol. Anyways I just feel like I am letting so many people down because I am not in there. The recently put someone new in the nursery with me and I have been there once in the last month to help her. I am pretty sure she hates me. I just wish I could do what I am suppose to. I feel like I let the Lord down because I do not do the things I am suppose too. I don't know what I am trying to say. I just wish I could do more I guess.

Photography.

Man I miss taking pictures! It seems like I never get out of the house. I just want to take pictures!!! Not sure why. But since I decided not to have a business right now until my skills approve its kind of hard to take pictures of anyone. For one no one wants to volunteer and for another I have a child that beautiful but hates me taking her picture lol. I just keep looking at great ways I am going to take pictures of Kairi. I am so excited to get to take a newborns pictures. I have been wanting to try for some time but haven't been able too. I heard its tricky and would like to at least try. Not sure if any of this makes sense. Maybe I will get brave enough and go for a walk or something. That is if the wind dies down.

8 more weeks!

Real quick about my last post I just want to tell Ka and Tia thanks for commenting on it. You guys made me feel a lot better. I was just going to comment on it but wasn't sure you would see it so I thought I would just thank you here. I love both of you and I am very thankful to call both of you my friend and my family.
I have 8 more weeks to my due date. It might actually be less because I had Caitlynn at 37 weeks (for medical reason) but you never know for sure. I am so excited. I am excited to maybe not feel like an 80 year old woman. I am excited to see what she looks like. I am excited to have another kid that I am able to raise. I am just pretty excited! But I am also scared. I am scared I won't be able to handle two. I am scared that I won't give both of them the attention they deserve. I also kind of feel like I am letting Caitlynn down for some reason and like she needs more time alone. I then look at it that my other kids won't get that comfort of just them and she will be ok but it still makes me feel a little scared. I am also a little scared we won't get everything done. We are working on our living space right now and granted its not that bad because we have been getting better with cleaning. Its just to me it seems like there is so much to do. I also need to go to the shed and get all the little clothes out and I have to go through tons of boxes because they are all mixed together. I guess we also need to work on the organizing thing, it would probably help with a lot of things. I hope and pray we get it done. Its just a little hard when I can barley move. Thankfully I do have a husband that helps and does a lot of things lately and I am grateful for that. I just can't believe I have only 8 weeks or less to get all this done! I want the time to go by fast because I am ready to meet her but at the same time I still want a little more time to get everything together, not sure if that makes sense. Anyways just wanted to write down my feelings. I am sure everything will work out and things will happen the way they are suppose to be. I just can't believe its almost time!!

Pregnancy

Once again I am going to use my blogger to rant. I am just having such a hard time. Don't get me wrong I am grateful I am pregnant and that I am able to have children. I know there are so many out there that wish they could do this but can't and that makes me super sad. I am also thankful that my baby is healthy and I have a wonderful support system. I just don't get why I have to have such a hard time. With Caitlynn I was sick almost until the very end and that was awful. With this pregnancy I wasn't sick really at all and I thought hey this is going to be easy. Well its not. For some reason my body is having a hard time. Its in constant pain and can barley walk. This baby likes to lay super low which is a whole different experience that hurts more then words can say. I have two more months left and I am already bigger then I was with Caitlynn, not sure how I am going to stretch anymore, and not sure how I am going to keep moving. I know I shouldn't whine and complain its just so hard. I wish the next two months will come by fast because I am done but I know its important for her to stay in as long as possible and that is what I am going to do. OK thanks for letting me rant. I know I shouldn't and its annoying, but thanks for listening anyways.

Resolutions!

This year is a little different then other years. Usually my main goal is to lose weight and yes this is something I would like to do in the next few months but it is not a main thing for me right now.
This year I really want to change the person I am. I hate the person I am and I think the biggest reason is my attitude. I need to have a better attitude about everything. This year I really want to work on being a better person.
Also I really want to be a better mother. I feel like I am not the best one right now and its probably because I am so hard on myself. This year I will be a mother of two kids and that thought terrifies me. I am the person that teaches them and helps them grow and I am scared I will do it all wrong.
I also want to be a better wife. My husband is amazing and I do not feel like I do enough to show my love to him. I need to treat him better and show him how much I appreciate him.
Another thing I want to do is be a better person spiritually. Right now I feel like I am a Sunday Mormon. I go to church and I do my calling but thats about it. I need to get better at this. Not only for me but for my family. I need to teach my kids by example how to live the gospel. I also want to be with my husband forever and I won't let something like me being lazy stop that.
There are many things I will like to change and there are many ways I can do these things. I just need to do them and quit saying I will do them. No excuses!
I really am going to start using this Blog a lot more too. Only because I think it will help me get my feelings out a bit more since I do not have many people that understand me. That way it doesn't eat me alive, if that makes sense.
I really hope this year I can become the person I want to be and not the person I am because I am to lazy to change it. Its up to me to change myself.