Callings.

Sometimes I fee like I am just not suppose to have callings. The first one I ever had I was suppose to go to the Relief Society gatherings and watch the kids. Yeah I never did it. That was my bad and I feel bad I didn't do it. My 2nd I was in the library and I did pretty good at it but got pregnant with Caitlynn and had to ask to be released because of how sick I got. This time I am in the nursery have been for about a year. I was doing a great job at it but now not so much. I just hurt and its really hard to deal with tons of children when you hurt that much. Today I made it through most of sacrament but had to leave because contractions were getting bad. Still are quite bad, its probably why I am blogging to help keep my mind off of it lol. Anyways I just feel like I am letting so many people down because I am not in there. The recently put someone new in the nursery with me and I have been there once in the last month to help her. I am pretty sure she hates me. I just wish I could do what I am suppose to. I feel like I let the Lord down because I do not do the things I am suppose too. I don't know what I am trying to say. I just wish I could do more I guess.