2011

I can't believe this year is already over!! It seemed like it just started. I won't say this year was amazing but it also wasn't bad. It was just kind of there. A few things happened this year but it wasn't as crazy as our life is usually which is fine with me.

Caitlynn has grown so much over this last year. She still changes every day. She is miss jabber jaws now even though you don't know what shes saying half the time. It is getting a little clearer though. She is super independent and has to do everything herself and in her own way. She has almost mastered how to put her clothes and shoes on by herself. I love how she is very set in her ways. If you move her cup at the table a few inches she will move it back right to where she wants it. She can be very mean sometimes and I can tell the 2s are going to be a challenge. At the same time she is very sweet and sensitive. She gets upset if something sad happens in a movie and I can't even take her to the doctors with me because she thinks them taking my blood pressure is going to kill me. She also loves to give you hugs and kisses. Even though sometimes those hugs and kisses can be a little violent at times. :) She is the best little girl in the world and I loved to watch how much she has changed this last year. I am excited to see the new things she does this up and coming year.

Daniel has gotten a lot done over this last year. He has finished his Associates at the University of Phoenix. Which I am so proud of him for getting that done. He still works at Wal Mart but is studying to take the National certification and then State for Pharm Tech and hopes to get a job as that soon. He is also hoping to start Weber State in the summer to take some of hes classes he needs for Pharmacy school. He is the hardest worker and the best husband and father. He loves to spend lots of time with Caitlynn. She also is a big daddys girl so that helps. I am so happy I have someone so amazing to spend forever with.
I haven't done much this year. I am still in school and still have tons more to go. I sometimes wonder why I am going to school but I have already learned so much and love the things I have learned. I am still doing photography even if its not taking off the way I would hope thats ok because I love doing it. I had a job for a short time this year as a waitress and came to learn that being a mom and working is something I cannot handle. I have tired to help my family finacially since then but it never seems to work out. I have come to the decision that I am suppose to be home even if me having a job would help us a little more. Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding beyond anything else. I love being able to spend every day with Caitlynn. Its one of the best blessings ever.

Even though this year hasn't been totally exciting something exciting has happened. We found out we are going to be added to our wonderful family. It will be another girl and her name is going to be Kairi (kye-ree) I have to admit I am terrified of having two kid and both girls and I pray that I can make it work. I am almost to my 3rd trimester and super excited. Pregnancy and me do not get a long lol. Thank goodness I haven't been super sick like I was with Caitlynn. This one is all about the pain. Even though most days I feel like an 80 year old woman because I can't even get up off a couch very well I am very thankful. I am not sure what this new baby is going to bring and I am sure there will be lots of challenges I am sure together and with the Lord we will get it worked out. I am so excited to meet her in a few months. I love her already and am truly blessed.
Another things that have happened this year is me and Daniel celebrated 5 years together. I can't believe its been that long. I love that I blessed to be with such a wonderful man and that it will last forever. He helps me through everything and he is my biggest support.
This coming year I am looking forward to all the changes I am sure will happen. I am going to start potty training Caitlynn, Kairi will be here around March sometimes, and I really think this might be the year we get our own place. Also with Daniel starting a real University that he has to go to will be a hard transition but we will deal with it some how. I hate that life is going by so fast but I love watching all the changes.
I wish you all the best for 2012 and I hope that it is a good year for you.

Amusing!

I decided maybe I should use this more. Hmm maybe. Like I said I say so much on Facebook everyone knows all the new information. I just thought I would share this picture because its me down 13 pounds.

Doesn't everyone look like this when they loose weight. I know I know I am pregnant but it blows my mind. I mean with Caitlynn I lost 20 pounds and then only gained 8 back my whole pregnancy. But I haven't been super sick like I have with Caitlynn. I haven't really been sick at all, and I feel like all I do is sit around and eat. Just something thats amusing I guess.

Talking!

Sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to that understood the things I am going through but I don't know anyone that would understand! It's a little frustrating.

Thinking.

I am thinking about deleting my blog. I never write on it and it just kind of sits here. Why don't I write on it more? Well I like to do a lot of Facebook status so everything that happens everyone know already about since they are friends with me on Facebook. Does that make sense? What do you guys think? Should I just keep it for when I feel like writing? Hmm not sure what to do here.

Day 09- A Song That You Can Dance To

I haven't been able to do this one because a lot of songs make me want to dance. If it has a beat most likely I will be "dancing". Well this song came on my Itunes and I went hey this song always makes me dance. So here it is! Enjoy!

Day 08 - A Song That You Know All The Words To

Ok I pretty much know the words to lots of songs! I am pretty good at lyrics. I decided to go with this song though. I love this musical and know the words to all the songs but this song is one of my very favorites. I loved that I have had a chance to see this musical and hope I can again one day! Best musical EVER! This song is amazing!

Day 07 - A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event

This is going to sound strange but this song reminds me of when I gave birth to Caitlynn. Why might you ask? Well that morning I had a doctors appointment to just check up on Caitlynn. This song was popular then and on the way it was on the radio. I was "dancing" in my car the best I could with a huge belly and with being in the car. While doing this the thought came to me. I think tonight is going to be a good night. Well after seeing my midwife she said Caitlynn was losing weight because she had no room to grow and there wasn't really any fluid around her. So she sent me straight to the hospital. That night I had Caitlynn so it was a good night!

Day 06 - A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere

This song reminds me of the Anniversary Inn in Logan. That might sound weird let me explain. The Anniversary Inn is where Daniel and I went on our honeymoon and we listen to this song a lot for some reason there. The TV had a program where you could watch music videos and we listen to this song about 3 times. Why? I am not sure. That is why it reminds me of Anniversary Inn lol.

People That Take Pictures.

I do not know what is wrong with me lately I use to look at site that advertise for pictures and think "Oh man these look so good." Now all I can do is criticizethem. I know I am not the best photographer. I do not consider myself a professional and usually feel bad that I charge people because I do not think I am good enough but everyone said I should. That being said I seriously do not know why some people pay others tons of money for crappy pictures. Sorry I was looking at tons of sites lately thinking WTF what kind of pictures are these. There is tons of people that think just because they have a camera they can become a photography. I do believe you can learn to become better but some people I do not think quite understand it. Ok I might just be rambling and you guys might be thinking shes doing the same thing. I just wanted to type the frustration out even though I am not sure if I made any sense lol

Pictures!

I just took some for my mom and I feel like they are so good! I don't mean to toot my own horn I just feel like I am getting better and better and I am actually starting to look professional! I am so excited! I might be wrong but they look so good to me! I love taking pictures! I am so glad I decided to do this!

Want to see more?! I have some on my Facebook page at Amped Up Photos
In other news not much has happened and I only lost on point on my assignment! Not bad I usually lose points (well in this class) I do have a 92% with a week and half left so thats not bad! Then on to Basic Mathematic yuck! Oh and the teacher did leave my a note on the assignment. This is what he said: "Your explanation is correct, but requires understanding of not only capacity and length but how you are specifically using them. I understand what you are saying, but I already know what depth and volume are." I guess I kind of understand him now. Anyways that is all and I hope to try to update you more and maybe finish the 30 day music thing! Thanks for reading this! Your the best!

Update On Last Post!

My teacher hasn't said anything to me but a lot of my classmates are saying stuff like "I think you answered this question perfectly couldn't of said it better myself." I am sure in a few days when I get a grade for it he will leave a note on my grade and take a few points off. I guess we will just have to wait and see. I just wanted to let you all know in case you were curious!

My Angry Issues.

I have always had anger issues and I take most things to heart so a lot of things make me angry. I used to express those emotions all the time but I am trying to become more understand and be nicer. Well in my class I couldn't take it and I think I might of made it worse for me. For some reason I feel like my instructor doesn't like me very much and he says a lot of things to me that really do not make sense. Well I kind of went off on him. I will explain. I have to do discussion questions its pretty normal with online school.
The question I had to answer was this:Using examples, describe the difference between depth and volume. Is it possible to have a sense of volume without a sense of depth? And conversely, is it possible to have a sense of depth without a sense of volume?
My responds: The difference between depth and volume is volume is capacity and depth is length. For example; if you look at a square box volume would be the space inside the box and depth would be how far the box went back. It is impossible to have a sense of volume without depth because depth is what makes up the volume. You can however have depth and not volume if you do not think about what is in the depth.
It was very simple but get the question answered.
My instructor says:Your answer is simple, perhaps a bit too simple. I would like you to describe the difference between depth and volume again. What you have written is correct, but not too clear. Think about trying to explain the difference to a class room of 1st graders or someone who has no artistic understanding. Really break it down and explain depth and volume with examples so anyone can understand.
What? Seriously? How freakin complicated do think this subject is? I get stuff like this all the time and ignore it because I think its stupid well this time I couldn't
I responded: I really do not understand what you are saying. Yes my answer is simple but it explains what depth and volume is and there really isn't much to it. If I was explaining it to a class room of 1st graders I would still do it the same. I work with kids every Sunday and I have one of my own and know they do not have much of an attention span so I would get the point a cross as quick and simple as I could, which I did. Also if I wanted to explain it to someone with no artistic understanding I think this would work. Even with out artistic understanding I think everyone knows what a square box is. I know I will probably loose points for this but I do not know what to say. Depth and volume is not a hard concept to understand.
I probably took it to far and I probably shouldn't of done that but oh well can't take it back now. I guess I am not getting an A in this class!

Life.

I've been thinking a lot about how this isn't exactly how I wanted my life to go. This morning though dancing around the kitchen with Caitlynn I realized it IS exactly everything I could hope for. Yes we do not have a place of our own, but we have each other. I have a perfect family and could not ask for more. Ok maybe I can and that would be to add to this perfect family ;) I know one day we will be on our own and have a place we will have all to our own. Sometimes I feel like we will live here forever but I know thats not the case. You know what I need to do? I need to put more faith in the Lord and I know that. I know with his help all things are possible and I need to remember that all the time and believe in it more. Sometimes I struggle but don't we all? I know that this is how my life is suppose to be and I love all of it even if its not what my plans have been. I have a wonderful husband that loves me for me, that takes care of me and my daughter and works his butt off at work and school to support us. I have an amazing daughter that even though she drives me crazy I couldn't imagine life without her. I love when she sings or dances. When she just randomly gives me hugs and kisses because I know she loves me. I also have wonderful family members and friends I am sure you know who are. I will one day have more children to love and teach that I am sure I will love just as much as Caitlynn. I am also sure Caitlynn one day will be a great big sister. I just have an overpower feeling that life is going to turn around for us soon as long as we put faith in the Lord. I am really blessed!

Day 5: A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone

Well its pretty obvious who this song reminds me of. Just the most wonderful beautiful little girl ever!!! I love Caitlynn Suzanne Peterson! She is just so wonderful and I am so grateful for her! She is a great blessing! She drives me crazy most days but that's ok because I love her and couldn't see life without her!!
In My Daughter's Eyes- Martina McBride!

Day 4: A Song That Makes You Sad.

Yeah I have no idea!!! Any songs that make you guys sad?

Day 3: A Song That Makes You Happy

This song makes me EXTREMELY happy!! It's mine and Daniels song! He is my everything! My life is wonderful because of him!! I love him more then words can say and my love grows for him more and more everyday. I am so thankful for him and all he has helped me through. Hes just amazing!
Looking Through Your Eyes- LeAnn Rimes

Day 2: Your Least Favorite song

I have quite a few songs I do not like. Mostly they are stupid songs that get stuck in my head FOREVER!!!!!! Like the stupid Bird Is the Word song or The Gambler! YUCK!
I decided to go with Particle Man By They Might Be Giants! What a stupid song!!

School Change!

I changed my degree! From a Bachelors to an Associates. Now school will only be 4 years instead of 8 since I am going half time!! Its not going to affect anything I have done so far! I just didn't think I needed a Bachelors when really I am just doing this for me! I think its awesome I was able to switch with no problems!
I start a new class Monday and it looks way confusing I am going to have to actually read the material this time! I have to do a lot of crazy designs maybe I will put some up when I finish them so you can all see what they look like :D
I love school it makes me happy! (most days)

Day 1: Your Favorite Song

This was a hard one because I have a lot of favorite songs!!! But this one is AWESOME!! It has an amazing message! I can really relate to this song!!
Sing-My Chemical Romance

30 Days of Music

This is another 30 day thing but its music! I am trying to be more happy and what makes me happy? MUSIC! I think its going to be awesome!
day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Happy.

I am going to try to be more happy. Happy with my life, happy with who I am and happy with my choices. Hopefully I can do this because lately I haven't been. I get told by people I suck at what I love to do, I am a horrible mom, I don't clean or cook and I am plain lazy. I need to learn to ignore what people say and try to change those thoughts in my head. I know these things are not true but its hard to keep telling yourself that when you get told differently. Like I said I hope I can do this and maybe the posts on here will be a little more cheerful.

30 Days of Truth

Ok I decided I do not want to do this! The reason I haven't been doing it is because I feel I might make people mad at me, or offend someone. I know this is my blog and I have all right to do and say what I think but I really do not want more people mad at me for silly reasons. I just thought I would let you all know that.

The Last Post

I just wanted to tell everyone that my last post was not meant for anyone to feel sorry for me or anything else. I just wanted to write down how I feel because thats what the blog is for. I just wanted to mention that.

Easy Person To Hate

I guess I am an easy person to hate. Here I thought I was likable, but I guess not. Two people in the last month have deleted me off of Facebook. Usually I would not care because Facebook isn't all that important but these people are suppose to be family. What did I do to deserve this? I have no idea. All I know is I am tired of feeling like the outcast. I am tired of feeling worthless because of the way people act towards me. I thought I was a good person. Maybe I am not. Maybe I deserve it for some reason or another. I don't know. All I know is I am tired of crying.

I Love To See The Temple!

The temple is truly an amazing place! Daniel has been having a hard time lately because hes messed up twice in two different health care classes and did not get an A. The one class he got a B and the other he got a C. The last class where he got a C he was pretty upset because he had an A but turned in the wrong final and for zero points on it. The teacher told him he was sorry but the school policy is you cannot turn anything in after the class is over. At this point he was pretty upset and started thinking maybe he shouldn't be doing this in the first place. Of course I told him he was crazy but he just felt bad. Then he started thinking how am I going to go to real school (he will have to do this before pharmacy school and pharmacy school) work and spend time with my family. I told him we would be OK. He was still upset. He's dad gave him a blessing and told him he would be alright at this point I think he was feeling better but I felt like the temple would help. We planned to go the next day (which was yesterday). That day Daniel was a lot better because he talked to his academic counselor and she told him he would be fine he was an amazing student and everything would be OK. I don't know why he didn't listen to me when I told him! She also told him when he finishes with The University of Phoenix he should see about being an instructor, of course he loved that idea so its something he might do while he goes to pharmacy school. Even though he was feeling better we still went to the temple because we do not go enough. On the way I said maybe one day we can do sealing because we never have. But we decided we wanted to go to a session this time. When we got to the temple the front desk scanned our recommends and then stopped us. I thought oh man did I do something wrong! What happened? He asked us to go up and do sealing. I thought OK that was weird. I guess that's where we needed to be. I love being in the temple and I think it helped both of us. The only bad thing while doing sealing I started thinking I have lots of family members that have passed and they are not sealed together. I was told in my patriarchal blessing that my family is waiting for ME to do their work so I started feeling really guilty. I haven't done one thing for anyone! They are up there wait and wait and I'm just sitting around. I guess I better do it. Another thing I thought about after I helped a daughter be sealed to her parents. I will never get to do that. My parents were never married. I would love to be sealed to at least my mom but I do not think she will ever go to the temple. I mean I could wish because I want all my family to go there but I do not think it will happen. She's to stubborn. It made me feel like I was all alone. Daniel later reminded me I have him and Caitlynn and our future children. That did help me feel better. Anyways like I said the temple is an AMAZING place and I need to go there more often. Especially to help my family. I am so great for all the blessing I have and I am grateful for the Lord in my life. I would be lost with out him.

Website!

I made my own website for my photography "business". I am so proud of myself! Go check it out and let me know what you think.
ampedupphotos.com

30 day thing!

Sorry I am a little behind! I am not sure if anyone really reads it anyways. If you do I will try to continue tomorrow!

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

I think the one thing I hope I NEVER have to do is attend one of my kid's funeral or Daniels. I know everyone dies but I do not want that to happen. Especially my children no parent should have to lay their kid to rest even though it does happen I pray it doesn't happen to me. I do not think I could deal with Daniel not being around so I hope I go first when we are really old or Jesus just comes that would be good too!

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

There are many things I hope to do in my life. Mostly its things like going to Disney World and traveling. The one thing I really want to do is have my own studio! Oh my gosh I would love that! I dream about that almost as much as I dream about us having our own place. I think it would be great and then I can take more pictures in the winter because I can take pictures inside! Doesn't that sound wonderful?! Oh man I think so! I hope one day to get a lot of clients and take pictures all the time! Sounds good to me :D

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

To be honest I do not think I have to forgive anyone for anything. I am a usually forgiving person when it comes to other people, just not about myself. The only thing I can think of is my real father. My whole life I have probably seen him 4 times. He would see his other kids but never me. Well about 2 1/2 years ago he died. I am never going to get to know him, hes never going to get to know my kids. Even though I am sure if he was alive he wouldn't know my kids any ways. I just need to forgive him more then I have for not being around. At least I always had some great men in my life growing up and at least one of them stayed around.

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I have to forgive myself for the mistakes that I have made in the past and learn to forgive myself for the mistakes I will make in the future. I am not perfect and no one is so I shouldn't think I need to compare myself to someone else. I need to learn to love and to forgive myself because everyone makes mistakes.

Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

This one is quite hard since like I said yesterday I really do not think I have a lot of good things about me. If I had to choose something I would say I think I have good people skills. A lot of times people come to me for someone to talk to or for advice. This has happened many times in my life and I have no idea why. I do not think that I help a lot of times but I guess I must be doing something right if people keep asking me. I have really thought about being like a psychiatrist because I love talking to people and helping them in their troubles, but I am to lazy to go to school that long lol. I really do hope I help people with whatever is going on in their lives and that people keep coming to me to talk to them.

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Hmm what do I hate about myself?! Well there are a lot of things. In my mind set I am a horrible person that can't do anything right. So I guess what I hate most of all is I have no confidence in myself and I have no self esteem. I think maybe that is why I give up on a lot of things because I just feel like I am not good enough. I also think I am always going to fail or I suck at everything I do. That involves church, school and life in general. Every time I go to the Temple I think to myself I'm not good enough to be here. I think maybe that is why I do not go a lot. I also hate the way I look and always compare myself to other people which I shouldn't do. I guess I just need to remember a line from a Pink song that goes, "You're so mean when you talk about yourself you are wrong change the voices in your head make them like you instead." Maybe one day I can learn to have a little more confidence in myself and self esteem.

30 Days of Truth

I am stealing this idea from Chelsea because I do not blog that much because our lives are pretty boring. So I thought I would do this and see how it goes. Be for warned that you might not like what I have to say but if you have different opinions that is ok but I dont want to hear them because they just upset me. I hope you all enjoy the next 30 days!

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself.

This Story Really Upset Me!

Program working to save babies born addicted to drugs - ksl.com

I know people have a hard time with drugs I have seen it happen to many people I care about but it just makes me sad that children are being born into situations like this. I just do not get it. I know everyone has their rights to do whatever they want to their bodies but to harm a baby is just wrong. Also I've seen a lot of people that can not have children and I was scared I might be one of them but am thankful I am not but it makes me sad to see these women harm their babies when so many women would love to have children and cannot. I really hate the world we live in and I hate that Satan has such a strong hold on it. I know this happens all over and it makes me really upset. I just pray that the Lord will help these little babies and the mothers so they can see they are harming babies and it is not right. Drug problem or not! You can get over it I have seen it happen. Also if you have something negative to say about this post please keep it to yourself. I am tired of all the negative comments I have been getting lately because of something I believe in. Yes everyone is allowed their own opinions I just do not want to hear it.

Laura Winslow Photography's Great Giveaway.

Ka sent me a link to this giveaway and I am glad she did. It looks awesome and I would love to have some more stuff for photography. I mean I don't take a lot of pictures yet but I would love to build up some stuff just in case one day I do. If you like take pictures you should look at this giveaway there is tons of vendors and tons of prizes you can win. Even if you aren't a photographer there is still cute things you can win that your kids can wear. And when I say cute I mean CUTE! I so hope I win this giveaway you find out who wins on my birthday and it would be a great birthday present!
So check out this giveway its awesome.
http://laurawinslowphotography.com/blog/2011/02/07/2600-61-shops-1-winner-the-awesome-photog-love-giveaway-from-laura-winslow-photography/comment-page-23/#comment-50151

Things Change.

Sorry I haven't wrote for a while. There hasn't been to much to write about and its been pretty crazy with me trying to keep this place clean, taking care of Caitlynn, trying to work out, and going to school. I also have been trying to stay off the computer and do other things even though that isn't working out the best. Nothing is new for me and my little family. We are all still doing the same things. I try my best to do everything at home, Daniel works, goes to school and hopes to find a better job and Caitlynn is crazy and growing and growing.
Lately we have been hanging out with people a lot and I really liked it for some reason I love to be around people and even Daniel said, "You seem a lot happier lately." And I was. But like everything it seems like me its time for things to change. I'm not talking about not being happy I am always going to try to be happy because that is a good thing. What I am talking about is hanging out. More and more everyday for the last week or so I feel like me and Daniel are drifting away from the people we hang out with. Which I guess in its self it isn't a bad thing. It just kind of makes me sad a little. I am not good with change. I should know its going to happen me and Daniel are so different then other people we hang out with. We are married, and we have a child. We can't just decided to go some where one day because we can't just up and leave Caitlynn and sometimes its not the best to take her with us. What I am trying to say is I am starting to see yes you will have friends sometimes more then other times but they aren't going to be your "best friends" forever. People change, situations change and some people just grow apart. I look back on the times I have said to some one, "we are going to be best friends forever" and I have said it to a lot of people. Most of them I don't talk to or hardly talk to them at all and only see them sometimes. It is hard to not have friends or your friends change over the years and its hard for me to accept it because like I said I love being around people. But do you know whats not going to change? Me and Daniel and that is all that matters. I can tell him that we are going to be best friends forever because we really are! People are going to come and people are going to go but hes going to be by my side forever! To me that is the greatest blessing I can ever receive. I couldn't ask for a better best friend.
Sorry this post is long and ranting but its just one of those things I needed to get out. So thank you once again for listening to me and I hope everyone that reads this one day they can find someone they consider their best friend and can really spend forever with them.

It Hurts!

It really hurts me to find out someone isn't who you thought they were. This past year I have lost two people I thought were my best friends. Both of them have helped me through hard times in my life and now both of them are gone. What really hurts the most is they both said I am a bad mother. For some reason that hurts me to the very core. I thought I was an ok mother certainly not the greatest but I figured I was doing ok. Yes I don't have a place of my own, yes I am not the best at cleaning but improving everyday,and yes I don't eat a lot of home cooked meals but that I am also getting better at. Even with those facts I thought I was doing ok. Am I not? Am I doing something wrong? Because in the last year two people have told me I am doing something wrong. I don't know. What I do know is I don't need people in my life that are going to bring me down that is why I pushed them out. So right now I am hurt but I hope things will get better in time. Just like I hope I get better in time. Ok now I am done ranting. Thanks for listening.

Baby Hungry.

Yep I am going to admit it I am baby hungry. I don't know why but I am. I know this isn't the time to have another one for many reason. I just want one. Caitlynn is just so big and is growing more and more every day and a lot of people I know are having babies and it makes me miss it. I know I won't be having a baby for awhile but that doesn't mean I can't want one. There are a few things that need to be done before I can have another. One is we need our own place where there is a little bit more room. Two I need to loose some weight that way it will be healthier for me and the baby. Last but not least Caitlynn still needs my full attention. I need to help her grow up a little more. She is the only one that will be the only child and I need to appreciate it a little more. Does that make sense? So yes I really want another baby and probably will for awhile but I know it's not time for one.

New Camera!

I am so happy I finally got a new camera. I got a Nikon D3100. It is so amazing. I also got two lens, a memory card, and a bag. When I got my money from school I was so happy I could finally do this. I was going to get a Nikon D3000 from Wal Mart but it wasn't in stock so I was really upset. I mean yeah I could drive to Layton to get one but I really didn't want to do that. Well we got Colette and went to try Sams Club they didn't have one either. Colette suggested we should go to Inkleys to see if they had any good deals. Well they had the D3000 but Daniel and me decided that the D3100 would be better for me. We also found out that they are not making the D3000 any more and that is why we couldn't find it any where else. They are replacing it with the D3100. I didn't have enough money for the camera and all the stuff but because I have a wonderful husband he asked for a payment plan. Which we were lucky enough to get. I paid half of the cost with my school money and then the rest we put on this credit card type deal. We aren't credit card people but if you pay it off before 9 months you don't have any interest which is a good deal. So in 9 months we have to pay off $450. Which we don't think that is that bad. It was like it was meant to be. I am so happy! I am so happy to start this part of my life and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

Holidays.

I know this is a little late but I have been busy trying to keep things clean and get things done. So this post might be a little long but I think that's ok too.
First thing I ended my first class around December 18th or something like that. I got an A. So happy! I mean it was an easy class but I want to try to have a 4.0 for as long as I can so it helps :D. I start my 2nd class on January 10th. It's not going to be exciting. It's Computer Literacy. I tried to pass out of it but I didn't know stuff about Photoshop or Illustrator so I didn't, but I guess its ok to get a refresher course. I kind of wish I could take more then 1 class at a time but I know one class at a time will be enough for me with Caitlynn.
Christmas was a lot of fun. We didn't have a big Christmas but that's ok because we had each other and that's all that matters. Caitlynn loved it. We woke up at 7 and got Caitlynn and the parents up to open presents. She wasn't sure what to think of it. She was confused why we would give her a toy and then take it away. lol After that we got ready for everyone to come over for Christmas breakfast. This year was our turn to host it. I think that it went ok. Jenn and Dustin did the funniest thing to us though they gave us a big box and inside it said "let's make a deal." It told us we could of choose to keep the green gelatin or go for box 1 or 2. We went with box 2 and in it was coco packets and a book and in the bottom of the box it said, "You lose try again." So we went with box 1 and in it was another box and another box and in that was a can of coco in the can of coco was a gift card. All these boxes were wrapped in duck tape and Jenn took away Daniel's knife. It was so funny and a great idea. After that we got ready and went to my brothers dads house who has been like my dad my whole life. We don't get to see them enough and it was good to see them. They are very nice and generous people. Shawn said that he is going to help Daniel get a job on base because on base its not about what you know its about who you know. We are praying really hard that Daniel will get this job. It starts out at 18-20 bucks an hour. That would help us so much and we would be able to finally be on our own and live our own lives. I think that will be good for us. So please pray for that. After Shawns we went to Grams. We ate dinner and right before we were about to open presents Caitlynn got really grumpy and wouldn't sleep plus she had a belly ache and a bad rash so we packed up all her presents and decided to open them the next day and went home. The next day she opened them and then we went to my Grandmas to open the presents at her house. So its like we had Christmas for two days. It was really nice and we are so blessed to have a great family in our lives. Even with all the presents and running around I still felt the true meaning of Christmas. I just love the Christmas season and the way it makes us feel.
The Monday after Christmas me, Daniel, Caitlynn and Grams went to the zoo because we weren't able to go on Christmas Eve like we usually do because Daniel had to work. It was a lot of fun and Caitlynn loved the animals. I am sure next year she will really love it.
New Years Eve we did the same thing we do every year. We got together has a family and celebrated Krystine's birthday, ate good food, and played air hockey. The only difference this year was we played Rock Band. It was a lot of fun and even though we do the same thing every year I still love it. My friend Kenzie decided to come over this year and that was a lot of fun. I am so glad that I have great friends. Poor Caitlynn was so tired by the end of the night, but she was a trooper and stayed up the whole time. Well she had to because I know for a fact she wouldn't go to sleep with everyone in the basement and her room right there so that is why she stayed up.
That's about all that has happened. I am so very blessed to have wonderful people in my life and to have a wonderful family. Now that the new year is here I am excited to see what happens this year. My resolutions for this year are the same as last year because I didn't do the best at them but I will try again. I hope you all had a great holiday season and I hope this new year is amazing for everyone.
FYI if you want to see pictures I am sure everyone is my friend on facebook and they are all on there.