Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Hmm what do I hate about myself?! Well there are a lot of things. In my mind set I am a horrible person that can't do anything right. So I guess what I hate most of all is I have no confidence in myself and I have no self esteem. I think maybe that is why I give up on a lot of things because I just feel like I am not good enough. I also think I am always going to fail or I suck at everything I do. That involves church, school and life in general. Every time I go to the Temple I think to myself I'm not good enough to be here. I think maybe that is why I do not go a lot. I also hate the way I look and always compare myself to other people which I shouldn't do. I guess I just need to remember a line from a Pink song that goes, "You're so mean when you talk about yourself you are wrong change the voices in your head make them like you instead." Maybe one day I can learn to have a little more confidence in myself and self esteem.

30 Days of Truth

I am stealing this idea from Chelsea because I do not blog that much because our lives are pretty boring. So I thought I would do this and see how it goes. Be for warned that you might not like what I have to say but if you have different opinions that is ok but I dont want to hear them because they just upset me. I hope you all enjoy the next 30 days!

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself.

This Story Really Upset Me!

Program working to save babies born addicted to drugs - ksl.com

I know people have a hard time with drugs I have seen it happen to many people I care about but it just makes me sad that children are being born into situations like this. I just do not get it. I know everyone has their rights to do whatever they want to their bodies but to harm a baby is just wrong. Also I've seen a lot of people that can not have children and I was scared I might be one of them but am thankful I am not but it makes me sad to see these women harm their babies when so many women would love to have children and cannot. I really hate the world we live in and I hate that Satan has such a strong hold on it. I know this happens all over and it makes me really upset. I just pray that the Lord will help these little babies and the mothers so they can see they are harming babies and it is not right. Drug problem or not! You can get over it I have seen it happen. Also if you have something negative to say about this post please keep it to yourself. I am tired of all the negative comments I have been getting lately because of something I believe in. Yes everyone is allowed their own opinions I just do not want to hear it.

Laura Winslow Photography's Great Giveaway.

Ka sent me a link to this giveaway and I am glad she did. It looks awesome and I would love to have some more stuff for photography. I mean I don't take a lot of pictures yet but I would love to build up some stuff just in case one day I do. If you like take pictures you should look at this giveaway there is tons of vendors and tons of prizes you can win. Even if you aren't a photographer there is still cute things you can win that your kids can wear. And when I say cute I mean CUTE! I so hope I win this giveaway you find out who wins on my birthday and it would be a great birthday present!
So check out this giveway its awesome.
http://laurawinslowphotography.com/blog/2011/02/07/2600-61-shops-1-winner-the-awesome-photog-love-giveaway-from-laura-winslow-photography/comment-page-23/#comment-50151

Things Change.

Sorry I haven't wrote for a while. There hasn't been to much to write about and its been pretty crazy with me trying to keep this place clean, taking care of Caitlynn, trying to work out, and going to school. I also have been trying to stay off the computer and do other things even though that isn't working out the best. Nothing is new for me and my little family. We are all still doing the same things. I try my best to do everything at home, Daniel works, goes to school and hopes to find a better job and Caitlynn is crazy and growing and growing.
Lately we have been hanging out with people a lot and I really liked it for some reason I love to be around people and even Daniel said, "You seem a lot happier lately." And I was. But like everything it seems like me its time for things to change. I'm not talking about not being happy I am always going to try to be happy because that is a good thing. What I am talking about is hanging out. More and more everyday for the last week or so I feel like me and Daniel are drifting away from the people we hang out with. Which I guess in its self it isn't a bad thing. It just kind of makes me sad a little. I am not good with change. I should know its going to happen me and Daniel are so different then other people we hang out with. We are married, and we have a child. We can't just decided to go some where one day because we can't just up and leave Caitlynn and sometimes its not the best to take her with us. What I am trying to say is I am starting to see yes you will have friends sometimes more then other times but they aren't going to be your "best friends" forever. People change, situations change and some people just grow apart. I look back on the times I have said to some one, "we are going to be best friends forever" and I have said it to a lot of people. Most of them I don't talk to or hardly talk to them at all and only see them sometimes. It is hard to not have friends or your friends change over the years and its hard for me to accept it because like I said I love being around people. But do you know whats not going to change? Me and Daniel and that is all that matters. I can tell him that we are going to be best friends forever because we really are! People are going to come and people are going to go but hes going to be by my side forever! To me that is the greatest blessing I can ever receive. I couldn't ask for a better best friend.
Sorry this post is long and ranting but its just one of those things I needed to get out. So thank you once again for listening to me and I hope everyone that reads this one day they can find someone they consider their best friend and can really spend forever with them.

It Hurts!

It really hurts me to find out someone isn't who you thought they were. This past year I have lost two people I thought were my best friends. Both of them have helped me through hard times in my life and now both of them are gone. What really hurts the most is they both said I am a bad mother. For some reason that hurts me to the very core. I thought I was an ok mother certainly not the greatest but I figured I was doing ok. Yes I don't have a place of my own, yes I am not the best at cleaning but improving everyday,and yes I don't eat a lot of home cooked meals but that I am also getting better at. Even with those facts I thought I was doing ok. Am I not? Am I doing something wrong? Because in the last year two people have told me I am doing something wrong. I don't know. What I do know is I don't need people in my life that are going to bring me down that is why I pushed them out. So right now I am hurt but I hope things will get better in time. Just like I hope I get better in time. Ok now I am done ranting. Thanks for listening.

Baby Hungry.

Yep I am going to admit it I am baby hungry. I don't know why but I am. I know this isn't the time to have another one for many reason. I just want one. Caitlynn is just so big and is growing more and more every day and a lot of people I know are having babies and it makes me miss it. I know I won't be having a baby for awhile but that doesn't mean I can't want one. There are a few things that need to be done before I can have another. One is we need our own place where there is a little bit more room. Two I need to loose some weight that way it will be healthier for me and the baby. Last but not least Caitlynn still needs my full attention. I need to help her grow up a little more. She is the only one that will be the only child and I need to appreciate it a little more. Does that make sense? So yes I really want another baby and probably will for awhile but I know it's not time for one.